This is an expanded version of the talk Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon gave at the Houston Region Mormon Stories Support Community conference held 20-21 January 2012. Using the biblical accounts of Jacob and the angel, and Jacob and Esau, as key texts, and organized around the central image of a "wrestling match" being simultaneously a fight but also an embrace, along with the idea of the close ties between making love and making war, the talk is geared toward providing ways of thinking about faith crises in positive ways--as integral parts of the larger human developmental journey--and then allowing those kinds of encouragements to work on our hearts and minds in a manner that will allow us to make peace with God (even if we totally end up thinking about or experiencing God or Truth and/or the spiritual path in new ways), church, friends and family who may be struggling with our pulling away from them in terms of having a shared worldview, as well as, even most importantly, ourselves. From this place of greater centeredness, achieved only as we go through the life and death match and agonizing processes of coming to fully center authority in ourselves and our own deep and genuine experiences rather than by giving that authority over to others--persons, institutions, and texts--we will be able to joyfully interact once more with loved ones. They may still not "understand" what we have (and are still) going through, but most of them will not be able to resist us in our greater, more peaceful and happier incarnation forever. And even if they continue to do so, we will be fed by a deep sense of peace and connection and groundedness in spirit that we will be able to be patient and still lovingly interact with them. We are called to the arena. God/Spirit/Our highest self is ready and encouraging us to fight--and through that fight to love more deeply. Will we answer the bugle’s call?

We hear them all the time, statements about the world "going to hell in a hand basket," sighs and longings for "the good old days," warnings of rampant moral decay and declarations to all who want to follow God that they are in "enemy territory." For those prone to depression and anxiety, such framings of the world and today’s moral and spiritual state exacerbate their struggles. For children, these notions feed fears and cause some to wonder if this world is really worth engaging. There are also dozens of other subtle ways that these kinds of assessments can act against our emotional, spiritual, and physical health and well-being. The most tragic aspect of these sorts of pessimistic framings is that according to studies from many fields, the data does not prove this tale of hopeless, inevitable continual decay to be justified. Violence is down, freedom is up, and scores of other social health and happiness indexes largely show things trending in positive directions. If this is true, how, then, should we think about the apocalypticism that affects so much discussion in both the world and in Mormonism? In this episode, Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon and panelists--therapists Natasha Helfer Parker and Marybeth Raynes, and philosopher and intellectual historian Jim McLachlan--discuss these messages and their persistence, the strength of the evidence for their accuracy, and their effects on people in general and those prone to depression and anxiety in particular. As all the panelists recognize, it is important to strike a healthy balance between optimism and pessimism, and there is a strong need for everyone to be alert to dangers and take reasonable steps for their protection. But for those who haven’t found this balance (or for those who love someone like this), they offer suggestions for how people might learn to concentrate on different, more positive messages. They also discuss possible ways we might talk with and offer fresh framings about the world situation to our children and loved ones who are overly wrought with doomsday fears.

One of Mormonism’s unique features is the patriarchal blessing in which LDS church members--generally mid-teens or older, though there is no official age limit--are given the chance to have hands laid upon their heads by an experienced and humble priesthood leader who has been set apart as a "patriarch" and to receive from him words of wisdom, inspiration, encouragement, guidance, and in many cases, prophetic-type pronouncements about possibilities for their lives, with some of these statements quite specific or unique. Most Latter-day Saints consider their patriarchal blessings wonderful treasures in their lives, and as containing words (as panelist Richard Bushman says in this episode) that are "set apart from other words" and seen as God’s words just for us. They are, as he says, words that can galvanize our powers, direct us, humble us, and make us better people. There is, however, quite an air of mystery around patriarchal blessings, and because of their unique character and the felt sense of sacredness surrounding them, many Latter-day Saints add expectations about what these blessings are that are perhaps not warranted. Some see them as absolute predictors of future events or straight-from-God declarations about their past lives as spirits before mortality. As a result, some who have previously taken statements in their blessings (or the blessings of others) to be literal, "this and this is going to happen" kinds of pronouncements, become quite troubled when events do not unfold exactly as the blessing suggested--or at least they felt it suggested according to the reading they brought to it or the expectations they had about the nature of these blessings. In this Mormon Matters episode, we have the privilege of having a wonderfully fresh and engaging discussion with Richard Bushman, a well-known and distinguished historian who from 1989 until a few years ago also served as a stake patriarch. He, in interaction with podcast host Dan Wotherspoon and panelist Jared Anderson, generously offers his own perspectives on just what patriarchal blessings are--and what they are not. In what way are they "prophecy"--and he does not back down from that term!--but also what are our responsibilities in working with all words of God, even prophecy (which, he is very adamant about, are all mediated by human minds)? How might someone re-frame what they see as a patriarchal blessing’s promise--such as being alive at the time of Christ’s return--that has "failed"? He also shares much about his own calling to be a patriarch and what the experience of giving patriarchal blessings is like for him. He explores his sense of what it means to declare someone’s "lineage" through one of the twelve tribes of Israel. Jared Anderson, in this section as well as an earlier framing of biblical precedents for patriarchal blessings and prophecies offers a wonderful reminder of the history of Israel and the "lost tribes," along with fascinating insights into certain lines of argument in today’s biblical scholarship that both complicate and possibly free up for some people expectations about literal descent or what is going on when the Bible seems to contain passages that predict the future. Finally, the panelists discuss the idea of pre-existence in Mormon thought that often finds its way into patriarchal blessings through the words of some patriarchs who declare things about recipients’ "valiancy" during the War in Heaven or refer to some other aspect of pre-earth existence. If some people are declared to have been especially valiant, is the flip-side true that many others were not? Evil has often been done with such ideas, so this notion offers a good opportunity for an important wrestle--one that this discussion delivers, and one that we hope (along with many other themes in this episode) will continue to play out in the blog comments.

What seems like something very simple to answer--"What is happiness?" or even, "What makes me happy?"--turns out to be anything but easy. How much do our expectations or pre-conceived ideas about what will make us happy come into play? How does the number of choices we have affect satisfaction with our lives? How much of our happiness level reflects what we experience in the moments of our lives versus how we reflect upon our experiences--the stories we tell about them? How much do our relationships with family, loved ones, and people we enjoy being around contribute to our feelings of well-being? What about a sense of purpose, whether it be on a small and personal scale or something more cosmic in scope? And more specific to Mormon Stories audience members, how tied to our happiness is our relationship to institutions such as the LDS Church? Do people with different temperaments generally find more or less satisfaction within the church--and how natural or important is it to continually renegotiate boundaries between ourselves and institutional forces that might work against the deepening of our self-understanding or our relationship with the divine and other factors that contribute to our contentment and how fully we flourish emotionally and spiritually? In this two-episode discussion--the questions, ideas, and opinions were too big for just one!--Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon and panelists Jared Anderson, Greg Rockwell, and KC Kern engage in a far-ranging and sometimes quite intense discussion about happiness in its theoretical and scientific glory, as well as in the more personal push and pull of the panelists’ interactions with Mormonism. These episodes present a lot to chew on, and the panelists each represent four distinct personalities and ways of engaging the church and LDS community in their own pursuits of happiness. But in the end, the only thing that is clear is that happiness is a huge puzzle that all of us must put together for ourselves. Episode 68 features the panelists personal stories and takes on Mormon-specific questions and how they pursue their happiness outside or inside the LDS church through their different ways of relating to it in their own journeys toward joy.

What seems like something very simple to answer--"What is happiness?" or even, "What makes me happy?"--turns out to be anything but easy. How much do our expectations or pre-conceived ideas about what will make us happy come into play? How does the number of choices we have affect satisfaction with our lives? How much of our happiness level reflects what we experience in the moments of our lives versus how we reflect upon our experiences--the stories we tell about them? How much do our relationships with family, loved ones, and people we enjoy being around contribute to our feelings of well-being? What about a sense of purpose, whether it be on a small and personal scale or something more cosmic in scope? And more specific to Mormon Stories audience members, how tied to our happiness is our relationship to institutions such as the LDS Church? Do people with different temperaments generally find more or less satisfaction within the church--and how natural or important is it to continually renegotiate boundaries between ourselves and institutional forces that might work against the deepening of our self-understanding or our relationship with the divine and other factors that contribute to our contentment and how fully we flourish emotionally and spiritually? In this two-episode discussion--the questions, ideas, and opinions were too big for just one!--Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon and panelists Jared Anderson, Greg Rockwell, and KC Kern engage in a far-ranging and sometimes quite intense discussion about happiness in its theoretical and scientific glory, as well as in the more personal push and pull of the panelists’ interactions with Mormonism. These episodes present a lot to chew on, and the panelists each represent four distinct personalities and ways of engaging the church and LDS community in their own pursuits of happiness. But in the end, the only thing that is clear is that happiness is a huge puzzle that all of us must put together for ourselves. Episode 67 contains the more theoretical portion of the discussions of happiness, what is being shown by scientific and sociological studies, as well as the key role of temperament in someone’s perception of their happiness (and especially as it might relate to spirituality and comfort within institutions that have the capacity to be all-encompassing if one lets them).